Feel good tip #1

Feel good tip is something I am going to try out. Whenever I come across a tip that helps you feel better or relax I will share it here. This is my first feel good tip,

Try adding a 1/4 cup vanilla extract to your next bath with either a mint candle or mint extract as well. The vanilla is relaxing (and makes you smell yummy) while the mint is refreshing. Perfect for a hard day.

What every girl deserves

I saw this video this morning, very cute.

Very creative guy...

Girls,

You want a guy to make effort in your relationship, without you have to tell him to do so. I think this is a great example, though a little cheesy for my personal style, but it was very well executed and flawless. He took his time to think about it, plan and organize it, and he had the guts to actually do it. (Not pop the question, just how he did it.) To me this just shows that there are guys out there who will take the time to amaze you, even after a year or longer of being together.

Take your time to find the right guy. Know that it doesn’t happen over night or when you’re still young (18-25 years of age.) Give it time to find the right guy. I talk to too many girls (and guys) on a daily basis that will just put up with the minimum of good treatment from their partner, the rest of the time their partner treats them with disrespect, dishonestly, doesn’t appreciate them and down grades them constantly. This doesn’t happen in a healthy relationship. If this is happening to you, you don’t deserve it. You deserve to be treated equal in your relationship. None of this 20% effort from him and 80% effort from you crap. If he isn’t putting in the same amount of effort as you then he doesn’t deserve you. This means, he listens when you have a problem or something is bothering you, he gives you your space when you want/need it, he respects you, your dreams, your family, and your values, he trust you and isn’t always trying to play 21 questions whenever you’re just trying to breathe, and over all he lets you be you and loves the fact that you can be you. You should be able to trust him, give him space that he wants/needs, respect him, his family, and his dreams, and listen to him (..the few times he will want to talk... Lol.) Take time for yourself in your relationship, you need to. You can’t put your best into a relationship unless you’re doing okay for yourself first. Also, when you appreciate him, let him know. Just like we like little surprises like the video above, because it shows that he is putting in some effort, guys want to know the same. Even if your relationship is great, reward him with simple things like buying a night out for him and his friends, without you there. Or make dinner for him if your normally don’t. Take him to a game, a show, or something that you know is right up his ally and not necessarily yours.

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” - Albert Schweitzer

No more Size Zero...

So as a few of you may have heard or read already, Germany's top Women magazine, Brigitte, will no longer be using professional models for their adds and stories. They have spent too much time on photoshop, to fatten them up. How ironic, huh? The full article has comments that I just can't help but think how 1.)selfish, 2.) ignorant, 3.) closed minded, 4.) rude, 5.) stupid, 6.) unknowledgeable, and 7.) blinded people are. Comments such as "This wont last." or about how obesity is actually helping people live longer.... what? None of these messages are good except for a comment:

Kazbah

06 Oct 09, 8:55am

Doesn't matter what size someone is, it matters whether they're healthy. How's their blood pressure? Cholesterol levels? How much fatty tissue around the internal organs (this one's more important than how much fat anywhere else. Clue: Sumo wrestlers have lean internal organs, a thin person can have "obese" internal organs).

I've known a couple of women who were very physically active - one an aerobics teacher, one a martial arts teacher and competitive martial artist - both of whom ate healthy diets, cycled, worked out, and hiked. Both were size 18+, and were regularly treated as if their size indicated a moral and intellectual failing.

I've also known a very wiry woman who, again, had a healthy diet and very active lifestyle (lots of kyaking, long distance running and cycling) who was constantly being told to "eat more", as if she was starving herself.

The last thing we need is fat folk and thin folk slagging each other off.

What we do need is a wide range of models of various ages, heights, body shapes and ethnicities who have healthy diets and lifestyles.

Exactly! What about just being healthy, eating healthy,exercising as needed and not excess, and everything is good on the inside (not just health but soul too.) Accepting yourself for who you are. This article makes me especially happy because as I am only a size 4, weighing 114 lbs, at a height of 4'11", very healthy, I still feel "fat" when I know I don't need to change anything. As much as I like to say that the media doesn't effect me, over all it does. Not in a way that I binge eat or practice anorexic or bulimic traditions to try and look like the images I see, but knowing that most men's standards are the media and if I don't possibly look like that then I may never find someone. That's when I get upset when thinking that I will not be noticed because I'm not a size -2. Luckily, I have a boyfriend that is not one of those men and finds most of the media images unattractive and agrees with this article too.

Women, ladies, and girls, please don't put yourself down and practice unhealthy habits because what you see in a magazine or on a billboard is not you. Keep yourself healthy and know where your body is at. Stay up to date with doctors appointments as often as you can. Eat healthy. Remind yourself that what you see is fake and is not achievable. If your with a guy who wants you to look like the cover of a magazine, then he isn't the guy for you. He should let you be you and not expect anything more or less. If he doesn't like it then you can tell him to fuck off because you will find someone who appreciates you for you and every little part of you. Have patients if you have not found that guy who accepts you for you, and enjoy time for yourself. Don't force yourself to be with someone that you're not truly happy with either. It's ok to be alone and not in a relationship, that's probably when you will learn most about who you are and what you like and who you really want to be with. Take advantage of knowing yourself and having control of your standards, never lower them for any circumstances. You have the right to have high standards.

This is a photoshop mistake...

(Found at Feminist Philosopher's blog)

.... but I find it sad that young girls might still look at this and try to achieve it.

(I know that Ralph Lauren didn't mean for her head, shoulders, and down to her breast to be disproportionate to her waist and legs, it's obviously a photoshop mistake.)

Notice that she can actually stand, holding herself up with perfect model-attitude posture! Girls, this is now natural or is it physically possible. If Barbie were real, she would be...

7'2" and 101 pounds. She'd have a 39" (FF cup) bust, 19" waist and 33" hips. She'd be a size 4.

(those were the best two resources I could find that were the closest in repetition)

It was physically impossible for Barie to actually exist, or at the very least very painful, she would have had to walk on all fours, hands and feet.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month

Yup, that's right. This is the last year that it will be in October though, in 2010 it will be moving to May. Also, the first week in feburary every year is National Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Week, so parents, aunts/uncles, friends, talk to the teens you know because they are getting more and more effected every day. So if you know anyone, or think you might know someone in an abusive relationship, don't just sit there. Do something about it. There are many resouces out there for you and for them. You can start by calling 1 of these two phone numbers:
For anyone ages 21+ The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233)
For anyone younger than 21 The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474, the teen helpline also has a chat function that is completely safe and is available at www.loveisrespect.org

But how do you know if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship?
-If your boyfriend/girlfriend...
...Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
...Act jealous or possessive?
...Put you down or criticize you?
...Try to control where you go, what you wear or what you do?
...Text or IM you excessively?
...Blame you for the hurtful things they say and do?
...Threaten to kill or hurt you or themselves if you leave them?
...Try to stop you from seeing or talking to friends and family?
...Try to force you to have sex before you’re ready?
...Do they hit, slap, push or kick you?

These are all reasons to call whichever number is necessairy and at least talk to someone. Nothing will be forced of you, no one will judge you, and anyone you talk to can provide you with local resources in your area. If you're not ready to get out of your situation, that's okay, there is at least someone to listen to you, if you call.

To loved ones, if you've tried talking to your friend or family member and it doesn't seem to be getting through, keep talking or at least communication open to them because they aren't ready to admit to themselves that they are in that situation or it is way to dangerous for them to leave. The WORST thing you could do is to cut them out, because when they are ready to get out of the bad situationt hey are in, they won't have any where to go. Stay intouch with them, that's the best thing you could do for them. So let them know you're there and aren't going to abandon them, and also keep spreading the awareness.

Stay informed, please, and keep your eyes open.

STATS:

For Adults:
Allstate Foundation National Poll on Domestic Violence 2004
3 out of 4 (74%) respondents personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence.
83% percent of respondents strongly agreed that domestic violence affects people in all racial, ethnic, religious, educational, social and economic backgrounds.
2 out of 3 (66%) strongly agreed that domestic violence is a serious, widespread social problem in America.
While 4 out of 10 (43%) ranked fear that the abuser will find the victim as the number one reason a victim would not leave his/her abuser, over a quarter (28%) thought that finding access to money/income to support the victim and/or children was the most important problem.

The Harris Poll 2006
Approximately 8 in 10 (79%) respondents recall “seeing or hearing something” about domestic violence in the past year. Furthermore, 53 percent say that they have heard of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. This percentage increases substantially among those people who admit that they have been victims of domestic violence (71%).
A large majority (85%) agrees that “when a person forces his/her partner to have sex, it is an act of domestic violence.”
An 85% majority also agrees that “a man or woman who abuses his/her partner is more likely to also abuse children.”
Approximately 33 million1 or 15% of all U.S. adults, admit that they were a victim of domestic violence. Furthermore, 6 in 10 adults claim that they know someone personally who has experienced domestic violence.
Among all adults, 39% say that they have experienced at least one of the following, with 54% saying that they haven’t experienced any:
Called bad names (31%)
Pushing, slapping, choking or hitting (21%)
Public humiliation (19%)
Keeping away from friends or family (13%)
Threatening your family (10%)
Forcing you to have sexual intercourse without consent (9%)


For Teens:
In March 2006, Liz Claiborne Inc. commissioned Teenage Research Unlimited (TRU) to conduct a survey to delve deeper into the issue of teen dating abuse, gauging the degree to which teens have been involved in abusive/controlling relationships and to understand youth perceptions regarding what is and is not acceptable behavior in a relationship.
The findings were astounding. The results show that alarming numbers of teens experience and accept abusive behavior in dating relationships. Many teens also feel physically and sexually threatened.
1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.
1 in 3 girls who have been in a serious relationship say they’ve been concerned about being physically hurt by their partner.
1 in 4 teens who have been in a serious relationship say their boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; the same number have been pressured to only spend time with their partner.
1 in 3 girls between the ages of 16 and 18 say sex is expected for people their age if they’re in a relationship; half of teen girls who have experienced sexual pressure report they are afraid the relationship would break up if they did not give in.
Nearly 1 in 4 girls who have been in a relationship (23%) reported going further sexually than they wanted as a result of pressure.

SHREDDED WHEAT

The main message says a lot. Thank's Shredded Wheat!

Don't believe what you see

It's a phrase I've gone by for awhile but have noticed recently that I do not follow it. I look in the mirror every day and criticize myself for gaining weight and not being slimed down. Granted I have not gained much weight, or it might simply be my woman figure decided to show now as I am getting older, (I am only 21.) Regardless, I find myself depressed daily because it's not what I want. I don't look at magazines and wish I were them on the cover because as a photographer I know how much those images are photoshopped and manipulated. I don't watch television and sulk about myself, I merely just what to change what I am. I do feel that one should accept who they are and take care of their body as it is theirs to live in for their life span, but on the other hand I don't believe that one should have that attitude and let oneself go saying "If I want to eat this its ok because it's apart of who I am and what I want." When I personally believe that you still have to take care of yourself to be who you are. We as humans did not evolve naturally to eat processed, preservative pumped, and chemical enhanced foods. Its just not natural. So I find this a problem when trying to eat healthy.

So I can go to the store and buy "healthy" items like salad, veggies, fruits, wheat bread, wheat or rice pasta, fish, things like that but under it all those items are still causing problems to my body and how it functions and digest things, because of all the preservatives that are in it. The only way I can eat those items and feel good about it (mentally and physically) if buy getting raw, living, or organic foods. To do that, I have to spend more money. Wouldn't you think that I would need to spend more money on the items that are processed and put through many cycles to finally make it to the market rather than food that its literally picked from the ground, a tree, or bush then washed off and trucked to the store? It's almost like a conspiracy theory or something, which makes me laugh to think about. (That the government might be making the preserved items cheaper to keep most of america buying them to make them dumber, less healthier, etc to take advantage of us all.) Possible, but who knows?

Anyways, back to topic of loving whom you are and taking care of yourself, I think that we would be happier or more satisfied with ourselves if we did eat healthy and took care of ourselves responsibly. Possibly entire raw food diets and popper exercise (none of this over exercise crap, 2 hours at the gym 6-7 days out of the week with running in the morning/evening. That's just insane.) So today I am starting a new diet, mainly raw food. As much as I can afford an get ahold of. I am also starting back at my old job which is more income than I was making, so hopefully this will help with my wants of a change in diet. I am not going to over exercise myself. I live on the 3rd floor in an apartment complex with two dogs that I take for 20 min walks about 4 times a day. I am forgetful of items I need when leaving the house, so there are times where I take those extra trips up and down the three flights of stairs. When I get the chance I will go to my apartment gym and do a little more exercise, but I am not going to force it and punish myself if I don't make it to it. There is no point. It's good to be positive about things and to keep a positive mind frame, otherwise one might feel like living is pointless unless you are what you see on the cover of whatever. Be happy to be yourself, because you can't be anyone else, so why waste time trying to be?

Video for thought: